Zzyzx

There are dry bones in the desert

Exit 23 to Zzyzx, California

Air temperature is 121 in the shade. The only shade is under that road sign. If you want to sit there to get out of the sun, you will have to kill something.  If you think people are possessive of their parking spots in the city, this will open your eyes. 

How is your car's air conditioner doing? Take the exit, dude. Seventy miles down this road a sharp rock will puncture your fuel tank, all the gas will run out stopping the air-conditioner and you will die in two square feet of shade while your girlfriend is trying to suck moisture from your neck.

I know, you're smart and brought six gallons of water but the second your get it out of the trunk, a huge scaly thing will run out of the desert and grab it, spike you with it's tail and run back into the desert with a maniacal cackle. 

On a lighter note, it's not always as bad as the above, here's a guy that made it out of there in one piece. Of course, technically, he's dead but he did make it out and he is in one piece. There is a terrible gash in the forehead, cause unknown but that's nothing for out here.

 

 Guy who made it back! 

Took a while to shake the scorpions out of his pants

What this guy did (nice hat) was to foolishly think he could just squat down in the desert and take a crap since nobody is looking. Haha, how silly is that? No, always bring a folding potty at the very least.

He squatted down all right but something powerful reached up, grabbed his danglers and never let go until the Ranger poured some gasoline down it's hole. Make you wonder if the thing was mad or hungry. 

gofundme.com/f/critter-and-castle-fun

 California Bird Dude

 

Famous little Castles, Palaces, and Dollhouses

Farrell Hamann Fine Art. Sacramento, CA

farrellhamann@sbcglobal.net 

 وينبغي أن يكون كومة حصى كبير جدا ينتج 300-500 غالون يوميا من المياه حتى في مناخ جاف نسبيا. (الجيش الاميركي كورب للمهندسين)

 أنا نكتة مع أصدقائي العرب في ولاية كاليفورنيا عن طريق رمي بعض الرمال على الطاولة في ستاربكس حيث تواجه قهوتهم. أنا أقول إن هذا هو الرمل أنها تتبع في الولايات المتحدة من الشرق الأقصى. ثم أقول لهم إن الموساد الإسرائيلي هنا للحصول عليه مرة أخرى! الموساد يريد حتى الغبار عن أقدامهم!

 Might work out OK in Las Vegas but will get you eaten in the desert.

Coral snake: "Red on yellow, kills a fellow" (Nursery rhyme)
Chews on its prey has fangs and teeth
Sorry, no antivenin, all gone

New: Sacramento CEO Club. Sacto, San Francisco, Marin County, Carmel, Granite Bay
In the formative stages. Very cool and will stimulate the bored CEO and they can bring the kids (maybe)
http://sacceoclub.blogspot.com/

The Inner Sanctum of the Bohemian Elite in Northern California 

Afraid of Chickens? You may have Alektorophobia!! See phobias A to Z
http://phobialist.com/ 

Artist Farrell Hamann


FB wants to know what's on my mind. Well, nothing.. Wife and I both heard a noise, a pat pat pat, not loud. Rat in the wall biting up phone cords or just the dog? California roof rat will run right up your leg trying to get away. Handsome, tawny little buggers. Run up you then jump for the curtains. I only know this because former neighbor caught one and we were pet sitting and wife decided to let the poor thing go free. Rat invaded my personal space. Just glad it didn't run up the inside of my pant leg.

 Emir" Sheikh Sabah al-Ahmad al-Sabah, expert foot licker AKA Dog breath. 

The Bully Project, a film for kids coming out in 2013 
http://thebullyproject.com/ 

The Exalted One Speaks:
Story of The Exalted. Church of the Blue Moon/Moonbeams on your Naked Booty!
http://biteycat.weebly.com

Nothing goes to waste. Pugs eat the raw meat, cats lap up the blood, and I eat the Styrofoam package.

How to handle scorpion stings

Bookmark this page 

Skull necklace bling by artist. $20. Very cool, all different, real hemp 

Note that each skull has 2 faces. Pic shows 3 but I have made 7 so far.

Hamann Capitol and Associates

Hamann Capitol and Associates

Reverse investment angels

Bring your deep pockets

Golden balls welcome

we do the best we can.

Our CEO is a cat

A face you can usually trust!

King Farrell (mind like a steel trap)

Please note: every disclaimer ever written applies to material on this page. Scrolling down this page means that you agree to these terms.

gofundme.com/f/critter-and-castle-fun

I swear by my beard that I will do the best I can for all clients. 

I need two million USD right away. For your money you get something very cool.  

farrellhamann@sbcglobal.net 

Located in Sacramento, California

Note: If you're here looking for a pecker checker, you are at the wrong location, we have no real medical experience whatsoever so move along or we will call the cops.

Your money is in safe hands (note the Black Hand and the Jolly Roger) For really loyal investors who maybe "act up" a bit, get frisky, we have a complementary (free) burial plan in the New Jersey Pine Barrens or just about anywhere in Newark, your call. 

 OBEY!

Don't you just hate it when you bury a chest of gold out in the woods and when you go to retrieve it, you can't find it AGAIN?

Gargoyle Man (former investor)

Madam La Duck will make sure your "de" investment experience will be a pleasant one. 

We can't confirm this but it has been said that a session with Madam La Duck is somewhat like "wrapping your privates in aluminum foil and running out into an electrical storm." The "pud" shown here is a mock up, of course, only intended to illustrate the point. No true pud was harmed in the creation of this photograph. Muhahahaha

Before committing our mighty brain power to the firm of Hamann Capitol and Associates, we ran a very successful dating service in Manhattan with a very elite clientele. 

Bitey the Cat Dating Service

Before we closed our doors for good, one rejected client's last words to Bitey were: "May you be starving and drop your last bran muffin in the camel's pen"  We don't know what that means, exactly and have engaged a cryptographer to decipher it for us. He also said he was going to fire a cruise missile suppository up our shorts and, since he was highly connected in the world of arms sales internationally, we took him seriously.

Our Foreign Technology Office has gathered some very valuable materials (examples above and below) often items never before seen by Western Intelligence Circles. You have to promise not to copy or sketch these devices to proceed further. Also, we refuse to deal with North Korea in any capacity having been stiffed in the past on "Balls of Fire" brand cheap Chinese bicycles. Shame on you, NK!! News Flash: James Wigderson of WI and his stupid blog suks ass

It is categorically untrue that King Farrell (formerly Old Butthairs) leaked highly sophisticated technology to the "Eastern Block" in the form of instruction that: while they are panning for uranium, if they dip their asses into the icy creek.  (they are less likely to flop forward since the wet butt adds just the correct amount of weight to maintain stability)  I think the NSA will agree that this technique has been a well known "secret" for many years. All Hamann ever did was inform them that the FBI would gladly provide free assays on all uranium, no questions asked. No crime there... Just being helpful.

Warning: unauthorized use of this material will result in the LAPD citing your Orthodontist for harboring beavers!!

Our Motto: "Hang higher than a Hamann

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your dress up!

My evil twin in the bathtub

Coded message. Authorization MK-Ultra Control

 http://castlecollection.blogspot.com/
World's Finest museum quality toys for the super wealthy. Tycoons take note. 

                       Pièce de résistance

That would be the "danglers", people. Hidden behind the palm frond

 Here's a joke I read in the Wall Street Journal of all places. Just posted it to Max on G+:

A Soviet Secret Service cop goes out with his wife to the woods to pick mushrooms. They look and look but can't find any. None. Finally the cop finds one mushroom.

So the Russian cop finds a stick and goes up and says: "OK, tell me, where are the other mushrooms?"

The mushroom doesn't talk so the guy beat the crap out of the mushroom with his stick....

The wife says: "What the Hell is wrong with you, are you crazy?"

He says: "I was provoked!"

                       Above: Official bird of Hamann Angel Capitol and Associates
Pic taken outside the Golden Arches. It is a dear, noble bird even though it plucked hairs 

off the top of my head where it is thin.  (See the link to: California Bird Dude below)

I think Donald Trump uses this crap in his hair. 

Dumbest little dickhead in the twitter universe? Could be: @Serr8d #StopRush

Cover asset, California Bird Dude: http://cabirddude.blogspot.com/ 

The Exalted One (formerly Old Butthairs) 

Above: AKA Basel/Elmer on his own spy series on YouTube. See Intercepted Video Transmissions, Source Unknown. Channel farrellhamann on YT

@farrellhamann on twitter

farrellhamann@sbcglobal.net 

Above: The History and Social Influence of the Potato. 

New: Forming the Sacramento CEO Club. If you live in San Francisco, Marin County, Granite Bay, Carmel, NYC or elsewhere, no problem. Right now housed in my semi humble home/studio. Very cool. Access to genius. 

http://sacceoclub.blogspot.com/ 

 farrellhamann@sbcglobal.net 

New: Installed art work in my large car shed so you can see cool artworks and hang out. About a block from the Kitchen in Sacramento, CA 

The Inner Sanctum of the Elite of California 

Home of the rich and powerful. Consultant genius to the movers and shakers and idle rich. (High net worth tycoons)

Above: Envoy of billionaires, royalty, and CEO's

 Corruption starts on K St. in Washington D.C. 

Says the Great Blue frog

http://95825.blogspot.com/2013/05/cool-old-full-length-films.html 

Magic Skull Bling-bling necklaces. contact me  

Ahem

 Clutter, tangled wires and the yellow foot of the giant dick with feet sculpture.